Whenever you get stuck in your head thinking, you lose the preset moment.

When you are thinking about something that causes any form of negativity or suffering you are under the influence of karma.

Karma is all the past conditioning.

Mental and emotional reactive patterns that keep popping up in different situations but with the same underlying structure.

So for example, I have a history with my mom, in the past it was very difficult for me to talk to her, we would always end up fighting; now of course I used to say that she was the one causing all the problems because of her unconsciousness.

But now I realize that she was triggering my own unconscious reactive mental and emotional patterns. Otherwise I wouldn’t get so upset by it.

If you are conscious enough no one can cause you to feel bad.
I was losing consciousness and becoming triggered.

I would get very upset and start arguing back with her. And then I would think about the incident for hours upon hours day after day. Just ruminating like a cow on this negative emotionally charged situations.

I was not in control of my mind or emotions, these negative thoughts and negative emotions were firing automatically without a choice. I couldn’t control this. It was like being possessed.

In the present I haven’t fight with my mom in a long time, and the relationship has improved a ton, I’m able to have great conversations with her, but sometimes I still get upset when I talk to her.

The big difference now is that I can see this and don’t let it control me, I can see how my anger or fear or whatever form of negativity starts to arise in my body and flows into my mind, I can see how the negativity starts to take hold of me, almost like a fucking demon inside of me, I get angry. I have anger inside of me that’s being triggered.

It’s really weird because before I thought that I was doing this. That I was somehow justified to think these thoughts and have these feelings, that they were right, that they were the truth, that my mom was supposedly causing this feelings inside of me, that she was responsible for this reactions in me. And that I could justify these reactions by explaining all of the BAD things my mom was doing.

But there’s space now! There’s this space where even in the moments where I’m under the attack of this karmic pattern, I can still be conscious enough to be like: “fuck this thing is firing in my body don’t be fooled this is not you!, this is not real, nothing bad is really happening at this moment, open your fucking eyes, see around you, open your ears hear the sounds, pay attention to your breathing, feel the sensations in your body, pay attention! you have a choice, you have a choice to be seduced by all this negative thoughts firing in your mind, or you have the possibility of just becoming present, and letting this patterns go, don’t trust in this thoughts I know they seem real, but DON’T give them your attention it’s a lie, it’s just a pattern, you have seen this pattern fire before, you know nothing good comes from engaging in this pattern, so can you let it go? Can you let go of holding on to these thoughts? that’s right notice how you are holding on to them, how you are choosing to give them your attention, when you could choose just to breath, just to see, just to hear, just to be present, the emotion is just a feeling, let it be there”

So yeah after sometime of that little internal battle I start to regain consciousness and usually I’m able to snap back into reality and break this karmic pattern.

Other times the negativity lingers and I’m just sitting there observing this negativity and being like wow, look at my face all tense, dude just let go, relax.

So I will just give you another quick example with this Coronavirus thing going on.

This topic is linked with a lot of anxiety for many people, and yes to me certain negative thoughts have been creeping in my mind, not a lot, but a few, but again this is also my own karma manifesting, is a reactive mental and emotional pattern being triggered by this external events.

The coronavirus is not the source of negativity, negativity can only arise if I lose consciousness, If I lose the present moment, the now, and my mind starts to wonder about all of the possible negative things that could go wrong in this uncertain times.

When I engage in any type of negative destructive thought about the situation and begin to feel anxious, that means that I have gone unconscious, that means that I’m lost in my mind, trapped in this unconscious reactive mind pattern, is unconscious because a completely conscious person would never choose to create any form of negativity for himself or for others.

And it is a pattern because it has the same underlying structure, in this case you take the coronavirus and the pattern fires in the form of fear, and this fear gets projected into different mind formations. The trigger could be anything.

So if I’m choosing to worry about this is, and I’m visualizing in my mind some scary scenarios about all of the things that could go wrong and that makes me suffer, then I have lost consciousness.

And by the way even if the threats are real which is debatable depending who you are, is not necessary or productive for you to worry and to be anxious even if death is coming in the next days.

But again karmic patterns exist so you may have some anxiety inside of you, and so your brain kicks into gear automatically without your permission and starts to generate ideas that freak you out.

That’s what you have to become mindful of. You have to see this worrying as just a pattern, something that your brain is doing automatically without your permission, a program that it’s firing on its own.

So here is where you have to cultivate mindfulness, you have to start to disidentify with the activity that your brain is producing, sometimes I say brain, sometimes I say mind, I find that using both of this words is useful for me and for others.

So see your brain as an organ, an organ that produces thought, you are not your liver, you are not your lungs, and you are not your brain.

Therefore any thoughts that appear in consciousness cannot be you, is just the workings of this organ, and also realize that you have a choice, between paying attention to this thoughts and identifying with them, and felling as if they were real, or you can chose to be present and just see thoughts as thoughts and with time just stop all thinking that makes you suffer even in the slightest way.

Also start to see this repetitive cycle, become aware of the karma you have.

These unconscious reactive patterns of thought and emotion that make you suffer.

See it as that, as just patterns that you execute because you still lack consciousness, but that now at least you are more aware and that you know as you become more and more aware that these patterns will keep dissolving more rapidly, and they won’t bother you so much anymore.

Something that I’ve notice is that even when I’m in the most intense mind attacks, I now can see it happening, and a part of me is aware that this is just a thought firing in my head that is producing this negative emotion.

So going back to the example of my mom, I can see how I start to react, how my mind starts getting negative, angry, and how this creates tension in my face and body, my predisposition changes, my interpretations of reality changes, I’m being triggered, all of this things are happening to me like if I was a robot programmed to react in this way.

I see this, I see it and even when these thoughts are very seductive and the emotion feels very bad, I’m able to be present enough to see it as something that is not real, something that is happening to me because of past conditioning, and I have become aware of this whole process enough times so now I know that is not necessary or good for me to go along with this patterns.

This is a very important idea, I used to feel that it was very necessary for my survival to listen to this thoughts, to give them my attention, for example a thought about a family member getting sick and dying, a very negative thought that of course could cause anyone an anxiety attack.

Before this kind of thoughts would seduce me, this thoughts would be like think about this, you know that this is serious, this is real, this could happen, there’s a very big probability that this could happen so think about it, worry about it, try to solve it in your mind.

So I would get suck into this thought pattern, and engage in them for hours just feeling like I was in hell. Like literally a lot of times I felt like this reality was hell.

But now I see this thoughts and I’m able to resist the temptation, I’m like no thank you, this is not productive in any way, it will just make me feel like shit, I don’t want to suffer. Then I just pay attention to the emotion, to the sensations in my body, disconnecting my thoughts from the emotion, so if it is fear I just feel the fear without thinking about anything, and when you do this you realize that this fear is really not so bad, is just a feeling, it is the accompanying thoughts that make it seem unbearable.

Now just to be clear there’s a difference between thinking in a strategic way to solve a situation and taking appropriate action, than worrying about something, visualizing destructive scenarios and not doing shit about it, just worrying and feeling sick.

So whenever you notice yourself having negative thoughts or emotions, see this as something that is happening to you because of past conditioning and lack of consciousness.

Know that a conscious person can chose how he reacts to any situation, and of course if you can chose then why chose any form of negativity.

Then realize that you can let go of this patterns, and you let go of them by observing them and letting them be.

Feel the energy behind these thoughts and just breathe.

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