As I write this I’ve been feeling a little irritable, unease this day. Not too bad, I’m not depressed or super anxious or anything, but I definitely feel an undercurrent of unease.

To be fair thought this is not the norm anymore, most of the time I feel good.

And so I have to keep reminding myself that it is not the current external events that are the cause of my unease.

I have to keep catching myself going inside my mind, inside my head, feeding my thoughts with my interest and attention and dwelling in different possibilities of how things could go wrong.
In bad days I see myself doing this repeatedly trough out the day.

But I already know that it is not the external events that are responsible of my unease, I have practiced letting go before, (for all of you reading this and don’t know what letting go is, I highly suggest you Google the shit out of letting go and start practicing immediately, recommended book The Sedona Method)

So I practice letting go, I have practiced letting go, so by now I have had so many experiences where I’m starting to get really worried, or anxious or fearful or depressed, and I apply the technique, I start to remove the attention from the thoughts and I put it in my emotions, and then I just say an inner yes to this feeling, welcome it, allowing it to be to the best of my abilities.

I’m definitely not perfect with this, so I do it as best as I can, I feel the feeling, without thinking, and when I do it properly I can feel immediately a sense of ok, this is not so bad, doom and gloom is not coming, the thoughts are not real, they are not really happening, so I pay attention to only the sensations and I breathe, I look around, I remind myself to pay very close attention to the present moment and I remind myself to see, hear, smell and touch, and to feel the sensations in my body, and I let go of the thoughts, I disconnect the thoughts from the emotion.

And sometimes after doing this, and the time varies greatly with different emotions and different thoughts, but after sometime of doing this, specially when it’s a really big and nasty and dark and heavy negative emotion, I can sense a huge relieve, just like if I was immerse in a heavy thunderstorm and all of the sudden the clouds departed and the sun could start shining again and the little birds started singing their peaceful melodies.

Yes colorful description I know, but this is how it feels, just like going from darkness to light. And then all of the sudden the perception of reality totally shifts, one second earlier I was thinking feeling and acting as if I were in hell on earth, a few seconds later I’m thinking and feeling and acting as if I were in heaven on earth.

All of these scary and extremely real problems disappear, they lose their essence, they lose the energy behind it, now the same scary thoughts that where scaring the crap out of me and making me feel very bad are now ok, they seem like a joke, and it’s almost impossible to bring them back to mind.

It’s a real weird experience to have. But I know that it’s real, this letting go technique works, and that it’s something practical that you learn how to do and then you can apply it ever more effectively and consistently. And then you can be present and active a lot more instead of all in your head passive and reactive.

So then you recognize that the external events that are facing the world right now and the external events that just concern your own surroundings your own family, friend’s acquaintances etc., your whole life situation is really meaningless.

Now meaningless sometimes is associated with a negative word. But in this circumstance what I mean is that external events, even the ones that look really bad, are at a deeper level, a level beyond the mind, are meaningless.

So this may sound strange, this idea of beyond the mind, well if you practice mindfulness meditation and letting go, your mind will progressively get quieter and quieter, so after sometime it will become obvious to you that you are NOT your ideas, you will never find yourself in an idea, in an activity of your brain or mind.

So now you start to recognize experientially that external events have no real power over you, because as your mind goes quiet, you don’t interpret external events any more, and when you do, you realize that this interpretation is just your brain or mind emitting some thoughts, and you are no longer identified with this thoughts, and so you can see how the interpretation of any external event is something that you can chose not to do.

And then you can remain present and not judge or interpret in any way anything that’s going on.

And then the more that you realize this, the more that you still the mind, is a lot easier to spot yourself when you are having an especially negative interpretation about any external event and this is producing unease or suffering in you.

So if you are worried about something you will notice yourself thinking fearful thoughts and feeling a negative emotion and go: Oh wait, I’m thinking about this issue and it’s very stressful, I’m feeling anxious, this is not good… do I want this?… no!… I want to feel good… So can you let go of this thoughts?… yes… so focus on the emotion… how does it feel?… like fear… ok, can you welcome this emotion?… yes I can… can you let it be?… yes I can… ok… this is not so bad is it… no it’s not… ok… so can you let go of the emotion… yes..

So of course sometimes especially when you are first starting to implement this technique, you find yourself battling with removing your attention from your thought, you are so identified with them, you are so lost in them, you think and feel that they are very real, more real that what’s going on at that very moment which is probably not much.

So you get seduced by the thoughts, they call you, they tempt you, they know your darkest fears, they know that you get worried if you get showed the darkest corners of your mind and that you cannot look away, so they call you, so at first is a battle, it takes time to realize that the thoughts are not important, and you would be much better off without paying attention to them and feeding them with your energy.

But it takes time to let go, because a part of you thinks that is very important for you to keep thinking this thoughts, to try to solve all of this problems in your head. So you keep thinking, and keep suffering.

You can also think of this as an energy addiction. Thoughts have a kind of energy, a kind of sensation. Pay attention to how your thoughts feel, they do feel, they have an energetic charge, and is like getting a little HIT of a drug when you chose to think on a very heavily charged thought. And at some level you are addicted to this hit.

But slowly you start to become more and more mindful, aware, present and then it becomes obvious that presence and thoughtlessness is what you really want.

Because it feels GREAT!

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